I ran across this blog recently as I was checking my name to "Google" if there was anything under my name on the internet... and I remembered that I used to write and have a healthy blogging passion... I guess it died somewhere in between working at the 2 jobs on different days of the week and being a Dad for the rest of the time...
Update on life: well the biggest thing is that Amy and I accomplished our goal of being able to provide for our family and we moved into our very own home as a couple. We are truly grateful and blessed by the Lord's provision and timing. So the routine of wondering where and when we were going to put down roots and the constant looking online for what was available came to an end in early August 2014. Whew... that was one hectic and anxious time for me. I kept thinking that something was wrong and not going to happen, or if we had missed something or not... 20/20 is nice to look at the provision of God's grace in preparing the novices we were over the year of searching for our new home in Frisco. Not to say that we did get desperate during some times that we spent searching for our new home.
Adjusting now to new schedules and placing and caring for what has been provided brings me great praise and joy along with different thoughts of ... hmmm I remember when.... ha-ha. When I called Bob to .... or the apartment will clean up XYZ...... Overall I am truly grateful to the Lord, my wife, and child for hanging in there with me regarding how stressed I was prior to the move and during.
IT seems that these kinds of things are best looked at through the lens of the past at times, but if there was one thing I would want to change, it is my attitude and understanding of what I thought was going to be a fairly straightforward mission of getting us from point A to point B when we did move. Needless to say I had some great successes in what did occur and yet I also had some very painful and embarrassing moments as we transitioned.
Lately looking at it all has been less painful and I have had to accept that I am human and don't have perfection on my side, but my critical voice within me is having a hard time shutting up and letting go of what I wanted and accepting what I achieved.
Needless to say if there are people reading this and want to know more details you can call or write and I can provide info in a more detailed and precise setting and happenings that occurred as to the thoughts I had during change and relive the most embarrassing moments with me, and no I am not providing my phone number to call if you don't already have it...
They... being the moments, are really too many to process and after 2 months of some "normal" I am just coming too after "they" figuratively place me in a coma to make sure that people survived around me. I am a bit of a control freak and while I tended to think that I could just make decisions as I went and move on the fly, there were other opinions in the household and needs that I had to listen to as all of my biological family was present during the time that we packed, removed, cleaned and placed.
Within me it seemed as if I could not make sense of whether or not I needed to be the boy I used to be, the child I was, the teen I survived, the college student I graduated, or the married father I am. Everything I touched was a memory or something I had to decide on and there are many things that my wife and I had to be honest about and just tell each other that we would pack it and then remove it at a later date from the box if it was disintegrating in the attic or garage. Then and only then would we absolutely have to turn our thoughts and expend energy deciding whether or not the item would remain buried in the box, removed, or given, taken, flushed, or trashed. yeesh.... so we made it and got our deposit back on our apartment despite being owners of a lucky orange yellow tabby who lived in our apartment for 6 years. Yay! that alone was at least worth a WHoooop! but you can leave out the eeeeee...
all is good though and we are deeply grateful and thankful for our new place of residence. Memories are already being made there and that is definitely what I want to be had in spite of the cost and work it has taken...
Grateful, grateful greatly FULL of thanks and joy.
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