Sleep... its overated...

so I can't sleep and figured my title should reflect that right now sleep is something that would be nice but does not seem to be coming. Not sleeping is fine, but its probably because the thoughts are racing on several subjects. They are the following...

School is ending and I have 2 finals to face.

My best man is moving to Thailand.

Even when so much has been answered, why can't contentment reign.

SCHOOL:

Well that is the immediate most pressing thing and so attention needs to be paid to it before Monday. I have a one page response in the one class that I need to formulate and memorize or at least know by Monday. Its a bit intimidating because I have not put all the thoughts on paper yet, but its doable.

The 2nd Test is online and I don't have to go in to take it. That is nice but I need to figure out how much I have to score in order to pass.

Time is moving closer to when I will be needing to discover a practicum site and that has me a little bit perplexed. I talked about it with my advisor and did not receive much more than a positive affirmation that I should be looking... we will certainly keep that up to date, but it adds to the things that are on my mind.

BEST MAN: My wife and I had dinner tonight with B and his wife. I have done a lot of life with B here in Texas. We were friends, Bible Study attenders, short term mission team members, prayer warriors, IHOP talks, Roomies, wedding confidants, apartment neighbors, and now I am a supporter of his as he and his wife venture to the mission field and develop what the Lord is calling them to. I am already saying goodbye, and missing him. This was a time that was full for us both and nothing can take that away from us. Brandon: Even though you are going to another land, I am committed to praying for you, supporting you with the finances that God allows me to, and seeking to provide a strong connection to whom you can connect with when you need to stateside. This is never goodbye, perhaps a tear or two, but always see you later.

REIGN:
even when I think that I have moved to the next level and become married, there is still this pressure now that exists that talks about kids and home and cars and job. It used to be just having the opportunity to get married was the pinnacle and mark to reach and live for. Now I have discovered that there are other marks and the path has not ended in the joy and contentment that I expected. Perhaps it was not that there was expectation, but that somehow the attitudes of desire and wanting the next step have crept in and not allowed me to be content with who I am as a husband and couple with my wife. Iam not the only one that is struggling. She is struggling too, but we are trying to address it and asking the Lord to assist us in defining being content with what HE has given and not with what I believe will make me content with this life. If that were true I am suppose to have a high paying job that supplies the money for the house, new kids, and latest model hobby or toy that is in my drive way............. I am not there and so society says I should sell out and do everything I can to get it because with out it I must be missing out...... its all a lie I frequently believe and my Lord reveals that the lie is offensive and sinful to Him... I believe He has given me everything I need to live today... I say that I believe, but belief is lived out by not envying the car someone else is driving, being happy in our rented one bedroom apartment, and taking great satisfaction in the fact that I am married to the woman of my dreams and the 2 of us constitute what God meant when he instituted the idea of a family. Amy and I are a family unit, and regardless of whether or not we procreate, we will continue to be a family. God calls boys and girls that are given to a man and woman who are married "blessings". The arrival of their presence does not mean that we are officially a family. Amy and I began that when we stood before God and said we do and will for life. So...... what does this mean to me? I am to be content with what I am given and children are a blessing from the Lord that are beyond what God defined as a family. I am already blessed by my wife. I pray for the day that God brings more blessing into our family.